- citizen: it's a bird!
- citizen: it's a plane!
- *superman flies down with kryptonite between his teeth*
- superman: it's a metaphor
i never thought i’d write the words “deeply evil carpet” but. seriously. what a deeply evil carpet that is.
And what you should do is to put this over an actual trap, like a hole in the floor so people will be like “Oh ha ha ha that’s soooo funny, it’s a rug!” And then fall through it.
are you satan
the first person that masturbated must have been like YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Colours meme: Buff yellow for Melancholy
(Buff is the pale yellow-brown colour of the un-dyed leather of several animals; it is the darker colour produced by an equal mix of the tertiary colours citron and russet. Buff Yellow tries to be non-emotional, coming from the head rather than the heart, and prefers to not get emotionally involved. However, as any dark shade of yellow, indicates an inclination toward depression and melancholy, and lack of love.)
new bra from victoria secret! :)
A woman stands in her bedroom. She is with her attractive male lover. The air is filled with desire. They both look into each other’s eyes. The female, with a slightly bashful smile, takes off her clothes, starting with the pants first, and finally the shirt. She is wearing the bra. The man’s eyes opened wider in interest. His interest is peaked. The woman strutted closer to him, her eyes batting and her smile growing. She leans into his ear and with a breathy voice, she spoke:
I graduate in three days, I pay my own bills, I have a car, and I’m reading fanfiction about a lettuce bra.
It has a little lettuce bow.
I’ve been laughing for 7 minutes oh my god
okay but can you imagine like
a week after your truck gets stolen out of the goddamn mall parking lot, you get a knock on the door and there’s fucking Captain America standing there. Says he’s here about your goddamn truck. And for a moment you wonder if…
Please reblog if you know anyone who might take party drugs.
I’m not an emt yet, but everytime I see someone do drugs, I just hope they’re smart enough to remember these points.
I really love this, because as someone with anxiety when I did take party drugs way back when I was always scared of going to the hospital because I didnt want to be arrested…..even when I bad tripped and cried in the bathroom for 10 hours because I thought Jeff was trying to murder me. I dont do party drugs anymore, but it still is comforting to me….seriously.
Most EMTS and medics I’ve met are some of the most non-judgmental folks ever. Look, we love helping people and saving lives. That’s what we went to school for. Help us help you, and everyone will fare better for it.
Important to pass along :)